UGH!!!

Master and I are here in Peshtiog Wisconsin. At some small truck stop. It's not a pilot or anything. But it has free wifi and a T.V with cable so Master and I are both entertained. He's watching some outrageous sports show. There were Japanese people hitting themselves with bricks on their heads. He said it was some kind of zen thing. Well, if thats what it takes to be zen then I will be zen free thank you very much!

A little while ago, I had a break down of massive proportions. Well for me anyway. Master and I have been having snippets of fights that are about nothing. Why is it that those hurt the relationship worse then the HUGE ones do? I honestly have never gotten that. It's just that sometimes He makes me feel sooo small. It's like no matter what I do, it is never really good enough. My whole chest feels like it caves in and my heart squeezes so tight when He does that. When I told Him about it He said that He didn't even know He was doing it. So He requested that I tell Him when he does this. I know He loves me and really does want to spend time with me, and that no matter what I do, I will always be His. (excluding cheating of course. But He knows I will NEVER do that to Him. I've had it done to me and it is not pretty) He just has a tendency to point out my short comings rather then my good attributes. I have tried to get Him to be more... sympathetic and praise me a bit more often. But there is like a mental block that is not allowing Him to do it, and I don't want to force it on Him because then it will be worthless.

I don't know things have just been on and off for me all week. Plus it doesn't help that my emotions are being thrown for a loop by my little red visitor. I always get crabby and extremely emotional during this time of the month. So for these issues to come up now, is super inconvenient and just plain rude! But today should be my last day. Either today or tomorrow, I can never figure this thing out. You'd think after 10 years of this crud that I would have it pegged. And I would... If it didn't change it's schedule every three months or so. so BLAH!!!!

I think I might get Master to play a game of cards with me while we are here. They have a deck on a lil playing table. It's talking to me... Saying, "Play with me.... PLAY with me!!" I think I will listen. That is if Master is in an indulging mood. He's still watching that weird T.V show so I might get a bit unlucky on the cards deal today. But it's worth the try, right?

On a more "Normal"ish note... The Obama Health care plan might actually pass. The senate passed one out of three rules that have to be passed before the actual bill can be passed last night. If this thing goes through we will be in a world of hurt for Centuries to come. Did you know that if this Heath care bill passes we will have to pay into it for 4 years before we see any return on our investment? It's like paying for a house for four years... But hey! You cant live there yet. Honestly, how ridiculous is that crud?? Plus the President has not only made the unemployment rate rise, but he has spent a shit load of money doing it. He passed a bill that was "supposidly" to help any state with a natural disaster. But it was specifically stated for Louisiana only with the Catrina hurricane. Now, don't get me wrong. That was a huge problem that should of been fixed a long time ago. But it wasn't the Hurricanes fault that the ENTIRE city flooded. The levee's broke. They couldn't withstand the pressure that the waves placed onto them. But that shouldn't cost 1.8 Billion dollars. He has raised the national defficit by 2 Trillion dollars in a little over a year that he has been in office. If something isn't done with this guy, we the American people, will be the ones paying for it. Maybe not me or you. But what about your children? Or your children's children? This country will be paying for this new Health Care Bill for a really long time. Because it HAS to get paid. And we will have to pay for it. If someone isn't working, why should I have to pay for their insurance and mine? Maybe that person should get a job... instead of loafing on the people who do work. One third of the Doctor's and nurses have already said that if this thing passes they will quit their jobs, because they won't be able to afford to work in that profession. Not only does the cost of insurance go up, but their salary goes down! Which means Less doctors and more time in the waiting room. This bill has been poled time after time. And all the results are the same. The American people do not want this Health care reform! Yet Obama is not listening. He is not for the people. He is against them. Him and Nancy Polosi need to be fired from their jobs. They are ruining their chances of being re-elected. It's political suicide to go against the masses of American people that do not want this. I for one am scared for this country. You should look up what he is "supposedly" doing for this country. Then go to your senator or congressman and ask them how they will vote on all of this nonsense. All they really want is to be re-elected. Which means they have to have your vote. If they don't have your vote or the thousands that don't agree with their standpoint they will magically change their views to get them. YOU can make all the difference in the world with one email or phone call. Or if you have your own blog... State your views, rally your peers. Make the difference between America staying healthy and vibrant or it becoming a third world country.