*sighs*
So much for what I was thinking would happen when Master and I came to this Hotel. I don't know how many times he tells me, "When we have the space..." or "There is not enough room...". It gets very frustrating to hear. Sense we are on the truck a lot and there isn't that much space; I half way understand not having any scenes in the truck. But when we have a perfectly acceptable Hotel for the day, and do nothing. That however I do not understand.
A couple of days ago Master and I talked about having Nightly spankings to get me under better control. But that has not happened but once. I especially need this because I am a bit wild and will try to push the boundaries and try to get away with just about anything. I need to know that I can be properly controlled. That if I get out of line my Master will put me firmly back. But lately that has not been happening. So I have been allowed to run around all willy-nilly. Master is now watching T.V, and when I asked if we were to do the nightly spanking. I got the answer I knew I would. Although to be honest I was hoping for a different one. I got a "Not tonight." These spankings, I have a feeling, are going to be rare and few in between just like everything else. I hate to say that about my Master but it's how I feel.
Master has been VERY hesitant in taking His control over me fully. I have been asking/pushing for Him to be more harsh and/or strict. But it's just not happening. I try really hard not to push, but no matter what I do, nothing happens. I have tried talking with Him. Being 100% submissive all day. I am about ready to lay out the toys/implements of my destruction. *purrs slightly at the thought* But I am deathly afraid of what He will do. Probably just put them back away. I am in desperate need of being Dominated that I am at my wits end of what to do. But I am also afraid of getting my hopes smashed/crushed again. Now this might very well be paranoia. And believe me I hope so, but if it's not, I don't know what to do. Only thing to do this late at night is, sadly, go to bed and hope for better results for the next time. Which could very well be three months from now. *sighs*
So much for what I was thinking would happen when Master and I came to this Hotel. I don't know how many times he tells me, "When we have the space..." or "There is not enough room...". It gets very frustrating to hear. Sense we are on the truck a lot and there isn't that much space; I half way understand not having any scenes in the truck. But when we have a perfectly acceptable Hotel for the day, and do nothing. That however I do not understand.
A couple of days ago Master and I talked about having Nightly spankings to get me under better control. But that has not happened but once. I especially need this because I am a bit wild and will try to push the boundaries and try to get away with just about anything. I need to know that I can be properly controlled. That if I get out of line my Master will put me firmly back. But lately that has not been happening. So I have been allowed to run around all willy-nilly. Master is now watching T.V, and when I asked if we were to do the nightly spanking. I got the answer I knew I would. Although to be honest I was hoping for a different one. I got a "Not tonight." These spankings, I have a feeling, are going to be rare and few in between just like everything else. I hate to say that about my Master but it's how I feel.
Master has been VERY hesitant in taking His control over me fully. I have been asking/pushing for Him to be more harsh and/or strict. But it's just not happening. I try really hard not to push, but no matter what I do, nothing happens. I have tried talking with Him. Being 100% submissive all day. I am about ready to lay out the toys/implements of my destruction. *purrs slightly at the thought* But I am deathly afraid of what He will do. Probably just put them back away. I am in desperate need of being Dominated that I am at my wits end of what to do. But I am also afraid of getting my hopes smashed/crushed again. Now this might very well be paranoia. And believe me I hope so, but if it's not, I don't know what to do. Only thing to do this late at night is, sadly, go to bed and hope for better results for the next time. Which could very well be three months from now. *sighs*
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