This morning Master decided that today we would take a day to just relax. So right now we are at Laredo, Texas in the Days Inn. Right now Master is watching the super bowl. I am just keeping an eye on it. I am hoping the Saints win. Master and I have an ongoing bet, and it'ts in my best interest to win. *giggles*
I think a little update is in order.
Master and I are doing a lot better. For the past couple of months our relationship and whole dynamic has been a bit patchy and rough. It has taken a while for us to get back on track. A couple of weeks ago there was a huge fight between Him and I. (what it was about is irrelivant) That was the turning point for us both. Right then and there I knew that at that moment I was capable of giving up because I felt I had nothing left to give to this relationship. And that frightened me like nothing else ever has. He means the world to me, the thought of being able to give up was lets just say wrong. I should not of been thinking like that. But I was. I was going through so much turmoil that that fight was my last straw. But I am happy to say that after a long, long talk with Master things were patched up. It took a while, but it was worth it. Things have been better then ever, altough I still think He could be a bit more... Strict.
*ugh* I am pushing again. I have a very hard time NOT pushing when it comes to His strictness. I just know what I want and for the longest time I couldn't reach it. Don't get me wrong, the lifestyle and dominance is all here. I just feel He could be more strict, and try and push His hand to be. I have been told countless times to stop doing that. That it isn't working. But I've tried everything else, I don't know what else to do. I have been wanting this lifestyle for a while. At first I didn't know what the craving/need was. But then I met my Master and He filled the holes. I know He's right and that I should not push this matter anymore. And I am trying very hard not to. We will see how long I can keep it up.
My eyes are getting tired so I am going to go curl up next to Master and watch the last of the game.
I think a little update is in order.
Master and I are doing a lot better. For the past couple of months our relationship and whole dynamic has been a bit patchy and rough. It has taken a while for us to get back on track. A couple of weeks ago there was a huge fight between Him and I. (what it was about is irrelivant) That was the turning point for us both. Right then and there I knew that at that moment I was capable of giving up because I felt I had nothing left to give to this relationship. And that frightened me like nothing else ever has. He means the world to me, the thought of being able to give up was lets just say wrong. I should not of been thinking like that. But I was. I was going through so much turmoil that that fight was my last straw. But I am happy to say that after a long, long talk with Master things were patched up. It took a while, but it was worth it. Things have been better then ever, altough I still think He could be a bit more... Strict.
*ugh* I am pushing again. I have a very hard time NOT pushing when it comes to His strictness. I just know what I want and for the longest time I couldn't reach it. Don't get me wrong, the lifestyle and dominance is all here. I just feel He could be more strict, and try and push His hand to be. I have been told countless times to stop doing that. That it isn't working. But I've tried everything else, I don't know what else to do. I have been wanting this lifestyle for a while. At first I didn't know what the craving/need was. But then I met my Master and He filled the holes. I know He's right and that I should not push this matter anymore. And I am trying very hard not to. We will see how long I can keep it up.
My eyes are getting tired so I am going to go curl up next to Master and watch the last of the game.
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