Surrender

For the past couple of weeks I have been writing about the developing situation with Master and B. Not all of the posts as you know (if you've read them that is) were about that subject. But when/if I ever had feelings that I needed to express with, what I thought was, no fear of consequences. But I was dead wrong. Apparently B has had a personal problem with my posts about her. She has said quite harshly several times that she doesn't appreciate what she thought I wrote...

At first when I read her messages and was told by Master the messages addressed to Him about it I was of the position that I wouldn't be censoring my writings/posts just because of her hurt sensibilities. That this was suppose to be like an online journal. One that I can ask others of the lifestyle questions or get comments from them. Where I would be able to fully express myself with no reservations, no holding back. But we were dead wrong.

I realize now that some people are going to read what they want to see instead of what is written and how it is written. It has probably happened to every blog writer out there. Why I thought mine would be any different, I don't know. I didn't expect it to happen so soon though. I am usually the type of person that stands up for what she believes in. But while under Master I have learned that sometimes my beliefs are faulty and that it is, under the right circumstance, better to surrender and live to see another day.

I know I'm not the perfect slave, that I loose sight of my Master being the Dominate. That I fail just as much as He does. But I don't need to be told that by anyone but my Master. Because at the end of the day it's His opinion that truly matters. No one else. If my Master is pleased of my progress and behavior and learning curve then I must be doing something right. I don't need my tender spot poked at by having someone who hasn't really been in the lifestyle either tell me. Especially when the person knows that that is a weak spot. Just because one person submits on a different level then I do doesn't mean I am a bad slave or that they are the bad slave. It just means that we are on two different levels. There should be no comparison. I am guilty of that myself with the blogs I read. But when they have a little rant on their blog I don't automatically assume it to be about me and take offense to it. I take it at face value. That another slave is having problems, sometimes the same ones I have and possibly learn from it. Or comment and gain a connection.

But all of that is irrelevant at this point. This is one of those times that it's best to surrender. I never thought this would be something I would have to sensor. But now that it is, any thoughts, feelings or concerns I have about B and Master's relationship I will write privately in my paper slave journal. If Master reads it and then tells me to post it here... Well then she will have to take her issues to Master. That is out of my hands. I will just be obeying my Master like a good little slave girl.